Hitting Pause in the Chaos to Let Gratitude Catch Up

I have this terrible habit of overfilling my time.

My youngest three children all left home this semester, and rather than develop empty nest syndrome, I busied myself with patients and writing, submissions and school. One of my kids had a hard time adjusting to boarding school, so I spent some time with him and his sister on the East Coast, flying back and forth, going to early morning meetings with administrators, and generally running amok.

Now that the kids are settled and I’m close to my 100 rejections goal, I have a chance to take a breath.

It’s hard for me to slow down. My natural speed is frantic. But for the first time in a while, I can soak in some successes. The kind that don’t always get celebrated because I’m too busy moving on to the next thing.

The truth is, I’m not great at pausing. I fill the space before it even opens up, stacking commitments on top of commitments until I’m running more on motion than meaning. But right now, I can feel something shift.

The kids are finding their footing. The chaos is softening. The work is still demanding, but it’s steadier. Somewhere in all of that, gratitude finally caught up with me.

Gratitude for my patients, who trust me with their stories.

Gratitude for my classmates and mentors, who remind me that learning doesn’t have an expiration date.

Gratitude for my kids, who are brave enough to grow up and out into the world.

And gratitude, maybe most of all, for this small, quiet window to stop long enough to notice how far I’ve come.